You want your ex to know that you’re unf*ckwithable. He needs to know that he didn’t break you and more than anything, he needs to know that you’re not only okay without him but you’re better. You want to mess up his life like he messed up yours; you want him to feel and experience the insecurity, shame, humiliation and heartbreak that he put you through. You want him to realize what he had and come crawling back so YOU can reject him like he did you. Yes?
How to get back at your ex – 20 plots to exact revenge
Maybe your ex cheated or gambled all your money away. Perhaps they just didn’t pay you enough attention or called you names and belittled you so you lost all your confidence.
So, you did what’s right and you broke up with them. But now, somehow that doesn’t feel like enough. What that person put you through, they shouldn’t be able to get away with it, right?
No, that scumbag has gotta pay!
Of course, it’s important to remember that while revenge helps you feel as though you got even with your partner, it doesn’t always make you feel better. Always steer clear of things illegal or that could seriously hurt them *no matter how tempting it can be*. However, if you simply can’t let things lie until you got back at your ex, here are 20 ideas to start you off!
20 Funniest Ways To Get Revenge On Your Ex
1. Get someone hotter, cleverer, and generally better.
The number one way to exact payback on an ex? Move onto the next bigger and better thing! If you can bag yourself someone more attractive, successful, and together then your ex, you are letting them and everyone else know it was the right decision to spit up, and hopefully make them feel pretty small and jealous in the process!
2. Get with their mates.
If they really screwed you over, there is no sweeter revenge then hooking up with their nearest and dearest. It sends them crazy with jealousy but since they don’t have a leg to stand on, they just have to sit there and take it!
3. Flirt with other people in front of them.
Show them how little you care by getting your flirt on big time with other people.
4. Be really nice to them.
Sometimes you’ve just got to be the bigger person. Being really nice to them is a great way to show you couldn’t care less. It leaves them feeling really confused too!
5. Return everything they ever got you—smashed up.
Having a good clear out of all their stuff will be super cathartic, and make sure they know you don’t want to keep any of it as it’s meaningless to you now. But don’t let them use it either! Smash that stuff up and dump it on their doorstep so they must clear it up.
6. Delete all their pics from your social media.
Let them know you mean business and want to start over by deleting any trace of them from your social media accounts.
7. Go somewhere you know they’ll be and look fabulous.
If you know you are going to be in the same place, make an extra effort to look super hot. Buy a new outfit, get a haircut, do whatever it takes to make them think ‘what have I done?’ Then make sure you act totally cool in front of them, like the breakup doesn’t bother you at all.
8. Lose those pounds.
If you got a bit, er, comfortable, in your relationship, now is the time to hit the gym hard and shift those pounds. You’ll feel so much more confident about yourself, and if you ever bump into your ex their jaw will hit the floor. What’s more satisfying than that?
9. Tell everyone!
A public shaming might be just the ticket if you look for them to feel seriously remorseful for their actions. Okay, so it might mean that everyone ends up knowing your business, but at least the whole world knows what an idiot/scumbag they are—including any potential new people they try to lure their way!
10. Steal their friends.
If you do number eleven, you are bound to shock a few of their friends. Cozy up to them and make them see your point of view. If they really were that terrible and you’ve been together for a long time, you might end up getting them on your side. If possible, make sure they know about it, that feels even better!
11. Comment rubbish on all their social media posts.
If you want to know how to get back at your ex, and have a giggle and get them seriously confused/annoyed at the same time, write stupid, sarcastic rubbish on all of their social media posts or clog up their feed with weird pictures!
12. If you shared Netflix passwords, change them.
Don’t let them freeload off you for one second longer!
13. Never ever hook up with them again.
Whatever you do, however tempting it is, and regardless of how much alcohol you drink, never, ever hook up with them again. Even if they beg for forgiveness and ask you to take them back, be stronger. Take the moral high ground and say no—you’ll feel so much better if you do.
14. Unfollow them on social media.
As above, showing them you simply aren’t interested in what they are up to is a great way to settle the score.
15. Tell their mom.
If they did something particularly bad, you know who they won’t want finding out? Their mom! Telling the parents is a devious move, but it certainly makes them think twice before doing it again!
16. Become successful.
Get that promotion, change career paths, write that book. Do all the things you said you were going to do when they held you back, and kick ass at every single one of them!
17. Imitate pictures they post of themselves on social media.
Make fun of their arrogant selfies or stupid posts by mocking them. People will think you are hilarious too *well, everyone expect your ex that is*!
18. Ask for all your stuff back, then throw it away in front of them.
Make them hunt for all the stuff you left at their place, and get them to return it. It will be funny watching their face when you just say ‘thanks’ and then chuck it straight in the bin!
19. Stay tight with their family.
Used to call his mum every week? Keep doing it! Used to play golf with her dad on a regular basis? Refuse to give that up. Staying close to their family will infuriate them and make them feel on edge all the time too!
20. Go traveling.
Get out there and see the world! Make sure you document pictures of yourself having an amazing time in all these exotic locations. Nothing says, ‘I couldn’t care less about you’ better than looking hot on a beach somewhere beautiful.
Remember, getting revenge on your ex can be hugely cathartic and even fun. It can help you go forward with your life and get over it. Still, it’s important to keep a check on yourself.
If you find you spend all your time plotting different ways for how to get back at your ex, perhaps it’s time to decide whether they are worth wasting any more time on. Maybe the best revenge you serve them is by just moving on.
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