If you begin to suspect that you’re being cheated on, you probably need to pay attention. This is your gut talking to you — and it’s an important one to pay attention to, especially if you’re starting to doubt the trust you’ve built with your long-term girlfriend within your committed relationships. If you start to suspect or worry that your partner is cheating — whether at work, online or with a guy friend you never trusted — it’s important to pay attention to your intuition, while also being realistic, too.
Remember, any time your heart is tied to something, these uncomfortable and could-be painful situations can be incredibly difficult to sort through, so be patient with yourself (and your partner), listen to your instincts and get to know the facts before doing anything you might regret.
Here’s what you need to know about her cheating possibilities:
5 Secrets to Know She’s Cheating on You
1. You’re no longer her go-to guy
It’s also a big deal when you’re not the first or even second person that she talks to about her day, according to Brateman. “It likely means she’s talking about all that to someone else,” Brateman says. “And sharing personal details of her life with this other person who truly listens and encourages her only deepens their emotional connection.” Brateman says when a spouse used to tell you about a co-worker or friend and then stops talking about them entirely, chances are something may be up.
2. Your sex life isn’t the same
Most people think a sign of cheating would be that you’re not having as much sex as you used to. But a more accurate warning sign, Brateman and Orlando explain, is that a couple is dramatically changing how they’re making love.
“A sudden interest in experimenting with new positions or techniques in bed, or interest in things that she wouldn’t consider before,” Brateman says, can be a sign that she’s having sex with other partners and bringing it back into your bedroom. [Read: Reasons Women Give up on Their Men
3. She’s not sharing details about her life with you
Anyone who’s ever told a lie understands the risk of getting caught when people start pressing you for more details. With each added layer of falsehood, you’re that much closer to exposing yourself as a liar.
So how does that translate to relationships? “What you’re not talking about can be very telling,” Brateman says. “For example, if she comes home from a two-day conference and doesn’t talk about the conference, that could be a clue that something’s up. People do not like to talk about something that hasn’t happened for fear of being discovered.”
4. She looks noticeably different
“Cheaters have the tendency to change physically,” Orlando says. “Love handles disappear, posture changes, makeup gets applied daily, and their muscle tone/definition returns.”
So, if your girlfriend who used to wear sweats and no makeup to do errands is now getting dressed up and doing her makeup before leaving the house to go to the convenience store, that might trip a few alarm bells, according to Orlando. The key factor here, though, is whether these changes are sudden and drastic, Orlando says. “Sometimes, it’s not necessarily what they’re doing, but what they are doing differently.” Brateman says. [Read: 7 ways to fix broken relationship easily
6. She’s extremely defensive for no reason
”When you calmly tell your partner that something feels different, and she responds in an aggressive way, it may be because she is deflecting or hiding something,” Brateman says. “In a loving relationship, your partner wants to know how you’re feeling. This is part of the process of resolving what feels different or uncomfortable.”
Brateman stresses that if there isn’t trust in the relationship, it won’t be able to survive or grow so the onus is also on you. “The first thing to do is to stop seeking constant reassurance after you have been reassured,” she says. “This puts pressure on the relationship without any benefit.”
Bottom line: If she gets angry in an instant or acts overly nice, it’s a red flag, Orlando says.
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